“Thoroughly
unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still,
we take
this step with the false presupposition that our truths and ideals will
serve us as
hitherto. But, we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the
program of
life’s morning—for what was great in the morning will be little at
evening,
and what in the morning was true will at evening have become a lie”
(Jung 1933,
p. 108).
Midlife,
the afternoon of life, as Jung (1933) called it in his essay on “The Stages of
Life,” has become of great interest to me of late, possibly because I have
reached it. The term midlife conjures up
images of reading glasses, thinning or grey hair, sagging boobs and backside,
hot flushes, back ache, loss of libido and a multitude of other changes in the
physical, psychological and social realm. I wonder if these experiences are
typical of midlife or are misconceptions promoted and exaggerated by magazines,
popular talk show hosts, late night comedies and greeting cards. At middle age do new challenges or unexpected
events trigger a midlife crisis or does it stimulate growth, adaptation and/or
renewal. Are those people older than 40 “over the hill” or does “life begin at
40”? These are the questions I think we
all ask ourselves as we reach this life transition point.
So what is
midlife really? Does it begin when the
kids finally leave home or with a birthday that ends in zero? According to the
online Oxford Dictionary (2000), the word midlife first appeared in Funk and Wagnall’s
Standard Dictionary in 1895. So it’s not
a new concept by any means. According to current experts Midlife is a normal
developmental phase usually falling between ages 35 and 65. It is also now
recognized as a period of life similar to adolescence, where important identity
adjustments, transitions and a new self-awareness take place. During
adolescence the task is to separate from our families and define who we are as
individuals as we a just to significant physical changes. At midlife, we have the task of reevaluating
our values and beliefs – likes and dislikes and defining who we are NOW not who
we should be or use to be. We also have to adjust to physiological changes.
Researchers
on Midlife transitions suggest it is characterized by the following tasks:
- Adjusting to Physical Changes – health and physical
well-being come to the fore front with significant changes to our bodies and
our activity level. This includes hormonal
changes, loss of hair or new hair in new places, need for bifocals, loss of
bone density, fatigue etc
- Reviewing our life to date - what have I achieved in my personal and
professional life? Have I accomplished the goals I set for myself? What haven’t I done I thought I would by now? Am I satisfied with my achievements and life
in general?
- Searching for Meaning – Who am I really and what is
really important to me as opposed to what society says should be
important. What is my place in life and
society? What connections and relationships is a priority for me now?
- Awareness of own Mortality – the clock is ticking and time is
running out. What goals haven’t I
reached and are they still important? Do
I have any new goals I want to set? What will happen when I die to me and to my
loved ones? Is there a God/afterlife?
Today I intend to focus on the task of adjusting to the physical changes.
According to a national
survey conducted by the American Board of Family Practice (1990) the most predominant
issue faced by those in midlife are the changes in our physical condition and
appearance. It seems the spiritual, mental and emotional
challenges of midlife are less obvious and can be more easily ignored (by some)
…then physical changes which are “in your face” so to speak. Just one look in
the mirror is sufficient to remind us we aren’t as young as we use to be. For women these physical changes can be quite
confronting as we are constantly bombarded with images of youthful feminine
beauty – on TV, in magazines and in movies.
In midlife we begin to see that we are unable to live up to those
idealized images – if indeed we ever could.
My own
midlife challenges began when I hit about 48 and knew that menopause was just
around the corner. Initially I was quite
frightened as my mother had told me stories of women going mad and her own
transition had been quite traumatic both emotionally and physically. My own transition to and through menopause
mirrored my mothers with heavy mensuration before fading away after several
years, hot sweats (mainly at night) also lasting several years, weight gain,
mood swings, reduced flexibility and energy levels, poor sleeping patterns and hair
loss and new growth (in all the wrong places).
I struggled with these changes initially, but eventually realized it was
like fighting a tidal surge. I found that
while there are measures we can take to reduce or delay the impact of physical
changes they are mostly inevitable and unavoidable. We can’t turn back time but we can make the
minutes count by implementing some strategies to adjust and adapt to our new
bodies.
Strategies
to help you age gracefully.
- Know your Body
– Learn all you can about what to expect
during peri menopause and menopause through books, magazines and dedicated
internet sites. Find out how it will impact
on the various areas of your body and what actions you can take to reduce any
negative responses. For example, perform
pelvic floor exercises to increase vaginal muscle tone to reduce incidence of
bladder leakage and use lubricants during sex to prevent irritating the vaginal
wall which thins during menopause. Take note of the changes in your body; acknowledge
any losses then make any necessary adjustments to your activities, clothing,
routine etc. I know that a lot of women struggle emotionally with the loss of their
reproductive capacity around menopause.
If this is you, please discuss it with someone and get support (menopause
support group or therapist). Other
physical changes can impact on flexibility, strength, endurance and recovery
times. I found these very difficult as I have always been a sporty person. More recently I have had to adjust my
exercise routine from a 30 minute jog (which I love to do) to a 45 min
walk. At first I stubbornly refused to
adapt and stopped training altogether but eventually realised that if I didn’t
accept and modify my routine then my fitness level would decrease and then I
wouldn’t even be able to walk. I learnt
that I needed to adapt to the changes in my body if I wanted to stay fit. Note: Ensure you have Regular Medical Check-ups including mammograms and pap smear tests
- Regular Exercise
– Exercise is effective at influencing the levels of total body fat and
abdominal fat. The more active you are, the less weight you are likely to gain.
A National Institutes of Health review showed that people who participated in
aerobic activities every day for 10 or more minutes had 6 fewer inches around
the waistline compared to people who did not exercise. It's also protective
against disease conditions associated with the menopause - like cardiovascular
disease and osteoporosis. Performing exercise also helps mitigate the physical (menopausal
symptoms) and physiological changes associated with menopause. Here are some tips for starting an exercise
regime (from Women's Health Queensland Wide Inc):
·
choose a range of activities that include
different types of exercises;
·
start slowly and gradually build up the activity
level (check with your doctor);
·
do warm up and cool down exercises and stretches
·
to keep motivated, choose activities that are
enjoyable, exercise with others or keep an exercise diary;
·
incorporate exercise into everyday routines like
walking or cycling to and from work, taking the stairs instead of the elevator,
and walking to the shops instead of driving.
- Maintain a Healthy
Body Weight - About 30% of women
aged 50 to 59 are not just overweight but obese. Many of the risks of
weight gain are well known: high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes
to name a few. Extra fat at your waistline increases these risks still more.
Unfortunately, a bigger waistline is more likely after menopause. As
women age, reduced oestrogen increases appetite and reduces the metabolic rate,
the rate at which the body converts stored energy into working energy. Many
other changes occur at this time that also contributes to weight gain. For
example: you are less likely to exercise, you lose muscle mass, which decreases
your resting metabolism, making it easier to gain weight and aerobic
activity declines. Some dietary advice includes:
·
If you
are overweight then slim down – It will minimize menopausal symptoms,
reduces the risks of heart disease and breast cancer (both of which go up after
menopause). Any balanced diet that cuts calories—and that you can stick with in
the long run—will do the job.
·
Aim for
two servings of fish (preferably those with healthy fats like salmon or
trout) as heart disease risk is likely to rise after menopause. There is also
some evidence that fish oil reduces the risk of breast cancer.
·
Increase
your Calcium intake (choose low-fat products) - Your calcium needs go up
after age 50, from 1,000 milligrams per day to 1,200 mg.
·
Cut the
amount of salt and processed carbohydrates in your diet as these lead to
bloating
·
Rethink
the drink – while red wine gets good press research suggests that one drink
a day has been linked to an increased risk of breast cancer and it may bring on
hot flashes as a result of the increase in blood-vessel dilation caused by
alcohol. Drink plenty of water and swap hot drinks for cool and decaffeinated. Hot drinks tend to increase hot flushes
·
Say yesto Soy - Soy foods like tofu, soy nuts, and soy milk may offer relief from
mild hot flashes and are not thought to increase breast cancer risk.
·
Researcher
Marjo Eskelinen from the University
of Eastern Finland, has found that eating plenty of vegetables, fruit and fish between
the age of 40 and 50 slashes the risk of developing Alzheimer’s by 90 per cent.
If you want more on this topic have a look
at : Learn how your diet at 40 & diet at 50 can lead to a healthy &
longer life
54. Healthy Sleep Patterns
-Sleeping well is vital to your physical, mental and emotional well-being. A
good night's sleep helps improve concentration, memory function, cognitive
abilities, as well as allows your body to repair the cell damage that occurred
during the course of the day. Resting properly also re-energizes your immune
system, which assists you in preventing and combating diseases. Global research
strongly points at a strong correlation between poor sleeping patterns in
midlife and an accelerated memory loss in the later years. It is important to
note here that poor sleep hygiene refers not just to getting too little of
sleep but also too much of it. Some tips for
improving your sleep patterns
● Limit alcohol, nicotine and caffeine intake
6.
● Do not sleep on a hungry stomach but at the same time
never overload your digestive system
● Limit fluid intake a couple of hours before you sleep
● Work out your sleeping environment to eliminate disturbances like noise,
light, etc
● If your schedule does not permit 7 to 8 hours of nighttime sleep and you have
some time in hand during the day, go for a short (30 minutes to 1 hour)
afternoon nap
● Begin your day with a fitness routine - exercise promotes the release of
sleep-benefiting hormones
● Develop relaxing bedtime rituals like breathing and meditation
● Follow a consistent sleeping schedule with respect to the time you go to bed
and the time when you wake up
● Expose yourself to sunlight for about an hour or two during the day - this
will lead to higher melatonin levels, leading to a reduction in sleep
fragmentation
7 5.
Healthy Sexual
function and Activity - The physical transformations your body undergoes as
you age have a major influence on your sexuality. Declining hormone levels and
changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to sexual problems
such as impotence and vaginal pain. Such physical changes often mean that the
intensity of youthful sex may give way to more subdued responses during middle
and later life. Educate yourself on the crucial physical and emotional elements
that underlie satisfying sex so you can better navigate problems if they arise. Medications
we take, such as antidepressants and blood pressure medication can also impact
on our sexuality. And then, of course, there are the ubiquitous relationship
and lifestyle issues that can hit in middle age. If you've been in a long-term
relationship, it might be getting stale. If you've let your body go and gained
weight, you might have some self-image issues. Conversely, if your partner
is the one with the weight gain, you may not find your partner as sexually
attractive as you once did. So one of the keys to maintaining a healthy sex
life through middle age and beyond is maintaining a healthy you!
Remember
- You deserve a dynamic, exciting
sex life (if you want it) no matter what your age. Read more at
Healthy Women
Note: If you and your partner are experiencing
difficulties in your sex life then explore the reasons for changes together and
consult your health care professional.
The more we care for and about ourselves, the less
bothered we will be by the natural physical changes of midlife. Sure…if
you want to pluck those chin whiskers or take Viagra to enhance your sex
life,…go for it. But ultimately, the goal in the midlife transition is to
make peace with our changing bodies and love it exactly as it is…..cellulite and
all!
How are you embracing your changing body?
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